As long as I can remember, my father had always considered me as one of his favorite children. A brilliant lawyer, he became quite important as a politician. Though I was a girl, it was decided that I would follow in his footsteps. He was very proud of me and my school performance at the top of my class seemed to confirm all his praise. Yet deep within I was sure that I was much less than what he made me out to be.

Thus, while growing up to be quite proud and egoistic, I was also quite insecure and afraid to make friends, thinking that people would accept me only because I was my father’s daughter. Meanwhile, what struck me most about my father, was how recollected he was when at evening prayers. My mother instead was very religious – with a traditional faith mixed with many superstitions like that of many other people. Yet she was very docile person and always at everyone’s service. Even if she had a great many sufferings, she bore them well, praying and crying over them silently.

I had started attending mass everyday but I didn’t yet know what my way in life was. The nuns in my school attracted me, but I had never thought of embracing consecrated life in a convent. Instead, I met and married Moy De Los Angeles, a judge. I really loved my husband and our children; however, my love suffered many limitations because of my great pride, insecurity, possessiveness and impatience.

My husband and I used to have strong clashes. But whenever they would occur, I would lock myself up in a room and cry out to God though he seemed so far away and all-powerful, then asking him for only one thing: “Please give me love, without thinking of myself, for my husband and children”. I was to shed many tears for our children, uncertain about how they would turn out. I knew that the only way to assure their future was to turn them over to God, but how? I looked for the answer in books, but to no avail.

Meantime, my husband and I had acquired a very materialistic outlook – working very hard to assure material comforts for the family and trying to accumulate riches as to leave an inheritance for the children. We had built a very big house like a mansion with a loan – 5 big bedrooms, a sizeable living room, two dining rooms, five bathrooms and a swimming pool in the middle of it all. At one time, we even had 10 or 11 helpers and luxury cars. When my husband became a judge, I also occupied a very choice position as a government lawyer, just one step behind him.

Hit by a lightning bolt 
Then, we met the Focolare Movement in a one-day Mariapolis at the invitation of our 8-year old daughter. It was August 28, 1966, my husband’s birthday. After attending early Mass, together with the children, we all went to the venue. For me that encounter was like a lightning bolt. It was a meeting with God-Love. He became so near and available to me that I understood that I could live with him 24 hours a day. That very same day someone encouraged me: “What is important now is to live the Gospel.”

And it was not difficult, for God’s grace was very strong. At once I found myself going to the Focolare house 3-4 times a day. Although it was a very poor apartment, it became the most beautiful place for me. There was nothing special that I had to do there, maybe only to wash dishes or iron clothes, but I gained a joy and peace never experienced before. My husband didn’t really notice how much time I was away from home. But he could see the great joy that I now possessed and was bringing home. I wanted to be exactly like the focolarinas, and my being married was not an obstacle.

Many things in me changed as a consequence. I was learning to love others, to do the will of God in the present moment, to make myself one with the others around me, and to live the Word of Life. In the past, I had been a very jealous wife. Now trying to live the Will of God in the present moment, I realized that my husband Moy belonged to Mary and so I would place him in the heart of Mary whenever he would leave the house for work and no longer try to imagine what he would be doing.

My husband and I also understood at once that we belonged to God and we are merely administrators of his goods. Both of us eventually consecrated ourselves to God as married focolarini. Our house became everyone’s house. We also realized that many poor people did not even have a roof over their heads, so we couldn’t continue to live in our big house. Meanwhile, this house was useful for many meetings of all kinds until we finally left it for a smaller and more modest one which was just the right size for our family.

Then, since Jesus was a worker, the children’s formation would not be complete if they did not learn how to work with their hands. Therefore, we began to do the housework by ourselves and our children learned more from these simple chores. Three of our children eventually followed our footsteps as married focolarini…

Irene Montano De Los Angeles